Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Relations Wednesday: Upgrade Your Dating Potential

     How tired are you of saying "I'm tired of dealing with the same type of guys."? Here's an idea. Stop dealing with the same type of guys. You may say, "Well how do I do that? I attract the same type of guys." If you want to have something you never had, you must do things you've never done. Me and one of my best friends were talking the other day and we reached a conclusion. We always seem to run into the same type of guys and we're so over this particular type. I'm talking about the disrespectful, overly sexual, man without a plan type. There is hope because all men are not the same. You just need to know how to find the guys you like. I began to research how to upgrade your dating life. By that I mean increasing your chances of dating guys you could possibly begin a relationship with. I'm not just giving you this advice. I plan on taking my own advice too. Here's some things I learned while doing my research.

1. Be approachable.
Being approachable and being too available; two totally different things!
A little smile goes a long way
I've been told that I'm not approachable so I'm working on that. :)
We expect guys to do a lot when it comes to dating. The least we could do is smile when they are looking for a signal to make a move. Body language says a lot about you when you haven't said a word. Folded arms mean, "Don't talk to me." No mean- mugging either. We get so wrapped up in our nerves, we forget to think how nerve-wrecking it could be to approach us. I also learned that traveling with an entire entourage of friends is not the best way to be approachable. Our girls can be hard on a guy. I know I may be a little hard to impress. Trying to impress a bunch of girlfriends must be extremely hard.

2. The Club is not
We dress up and think maybe just maybe we'll find Mr. Right at the club. Wrong. The club is not ideal for finding a potential date. Loud music and alcohol allows for no good conversation and cloudy thoughts. Maybe a chill bar or lounge would be better. Try going to places that might interest you like art galleries or poetry spots. Or go to a place that you like and guys flock to like gyms, Buffalo Wild Wings, or the local NBA game! It's not being desperate if you like those places too right? It's called being in the right place at the right time for Mr. Right.

3. Dress Accordingly
I mentioned dressing up for a guy. Of course you're wearing what you like first and foremost but also think of who you might attract and dress accordingly. That extra tight, skimpy skirt forces guys to focus on it and not you. You'd like a guy to notice you physically and be attracted to you but you would also like him to be able to see you as a beautiful person on the inside too. Treat yourself with respect and guys will respect you. Dress with dignity with a hint of sexy and you'll be treated as such.

4.Flip The Script
I am an advocate for initializing the first conversation with a guy. Although he would have to be really special for me to pursue him, I'm not totally against approaching him. What if the guy of your dreams coincidentally just hasn't seen you yet? Help him out. Yes, A man should be a man. You don't have to take on his role the entire time but maybe just for your initial meeting. They like to be relieved of their roles just as we do sometimes.

I hope you'll take heed to this tips and upgrade your dating potentials. I know I will. Brown Queens should be with Kings of great stature. Good luck with finding one just as worthy of you as you are of him.

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