RELATIONS WEDNESDAY: It is Women's History Month Right?

Welp we've ended our nationally allotted time to celebrate people of color (shade) but guess what Queens? Women's history month is here. You know The BQC is all for a celebration especially a celebration of women. It's what we're here for. All day. Every day.

Many years ago (like 4) I wrote a little poem and it became the official grand preamble for The Brown Queens' Constitution. These are words to live by for all women and even more, brown queens.  I know it is relations Wednesday and you might be a little confused. But this poem is about the woman in relation to fellow women and the rest of the world. Women please go forward recognizing and owning your queendom. You so deserve it. You are absolutely magnificent. Happy Women's History month.

 The original font is a bit fancy so here it is plain, clear, and bold as ever.

Wisdom. Pride. Courage. Grace. Power. Generosity.
 To be a Brown Queen
 it is not required that I posses all of these things in their entirety.
 It is the gradual effort I put forth,
 the appreciation of the process, and being a constant source
 of love and inspiration reflective upon me.
 It's to be a magnet of knowledge, growth, and positivity.
 This is how I rule,
 the majesty I bestow
 Even without a crown or a throne, I am rightfully so
 a Brown Queen and I am beautiful.

And since everything's better with music, I've included a few songs that really make me feel good about being a woman. Enjoy.

RELATIONS WEDNESDAY: Are You In A Dead-end Relationship?

     "Why am I here?" If that's a question you ask yourself more often than not about your mate, you may need to ask yourself another question. Am I in a dead-end relationship?

       Technically a dead-end relationship is one that doesn't last for one reason or another. Well I see it simple. Either it ends or it doesn't. Either it's a dead-end relationship or not.

     4 tell-tale signs that you're in a..

   1. You've lowered your standards

How low is too low?

    The characteristics you once deemed completely unacceptable, you now tolerate. 

How much and for how long can you tolerate? We're all human so we're flawed. But have you both made sacrifices for the better of the relationship? Loving and accepting someone for who they are and tolerating who they are not are not the same. 

    

    2. You're embarrassed by him

You're afraid others may find out about your relationship.

      Oh this one is a dead give-away. If you are ashamed of your man then maybe you're more concerned about what other people think than you should. Or maybe it's proof that you're dealing with someone you know you shouldn't.

    3. You want two different things

"We're just in two different places" 

        It may sound cliche' but it is not to be taken lightly. You're ready to take your relationship to the next level and he's not or vice-versa. This can affect your relationship more than you think. If how you envision your future together looks drastically different from his, a dead-end could be in the near future.

   4. There's no chemistry
     

The spark is gone.

        Cringing at the sight of him or the slightest touch of him is just not a good sign. It's going to take a lot more than a spark to have a lasting relationship and if you don't at least have that then someone's bound to get hurt. Take caution you may be headed towards a dead-end.

By Na'Shun, Founder and Contributor

The Brown Queens' Constitution

RELATIONS WEDNESDAY: Most Viewed

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

RELATIONS WEDNESDAY: Meet The Family

How soon is too soon to meet the family?? I am an advocate for not bringing every guy to meet your parents especially if they're not going to be around long. If you know it will be short winded from beginning, I wouldn't bother. After the third date sounds like a good time to introduce the guy you're dating to your parents. By then you know if you'll be embarrassed by him or if he can impress your parents the way he impressed you. (Tip) If you know your parent's would not approve of your guy in any way, should you really be dating him? A family dinner at your parent's is the traditional "meet the family" setting. Try something fun like going bowling with your parents and your guy. The setting takes some of the pressure off of your guy. Holidays are great for meeting the extended family. If your family is the type to grill a guy, be sure not to leave your guy alone for too long. That can be intimidating for him. If he can hold his own throughout the interrogation, that's a good sign for you. Meeting the family is something that has to be timed just right. Too soon can make him feel like you're getting too serious too fast. Waiting too long can be offensive. But the good thing is once it's over it's a relief to have your family meet someone who is beginning to mean a lot to you. Now you can concentrate on other things like impressing his parents.

RELATIONS WEDNESDAY: 1st Runner-Up

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

RELATIONS WEDNESDAY: Great Expectations

Where do you see yourself in 10 years? Do you see a family with kids? 2 or 3? Maybe you don't see that in ten years. Perhaps you see yourself with a thriving career and traveling. You may even see yourself having it all. I definitely have a vision for where I expect to be in 10 years. I see myself with a family, husband and children, and a fulfilling career. It doesn't mean that it will happen but I'm definietly hopeful; can't see it any other way at the moment. We hear that saying that goes,"With great expectations comes great disappointment." However, we can't help but be hopeful that our great expectations will happen just as we envisioned them. When it comes to planning for the future, we are not always the best judge of character of those who could possiby be in our life during the next ten years and thereafter. We often develop relationships with people who probably shouldn't have ten minutes of our time let alone a minimum of ten years of our life. We don't always think of the time we're wasting with people that don't and will not meet our standards and expectations for the future. Thank goodness expectations and standards can be adjusted or I'm afraid none of us would ever be truly happy. Of course those of us who don't have many expectations will have no worries because they're assumingly satisfied with their current state. That definitely sounds like an easier way of living but I'm not sure if it sounds logical. What do you think? What are your expectations for the future?

Posted by Na'Shun Wright